Funny Would You Rather Questions

Questions #81–124

Anyone who thinks they've already made every impossible choice hasn't met this stretch. It pits a hamster-sized dragon against a glitter-molting phoenix, roller skates at the office against a full suit of armor at the grocery store, and asks whether you'd salute every mailbox you pass. Body glitches get weirder here too, sneezes that clear your browser history, a text tone that is simply a goat screaming. Bring these to a sleepover or a slow group chat and demand written rulings. Overthinkers thrive on this page.

Page 3 of 3 in the funny list.

81. Would you rather have shoes that make a 'boing' sound with every step or a jacket that says 'nice' whenever you sit down?
82. Would you rather have to sleep standing up like a horse or sleep hanging upside down like a bat?
83. Would you rather have a sneeze that briefly turns your hair a random color or a cough that briefly makes you speak French?
84. Would you rather have to wear last year's Halloween costume every Monday or your pajamas to every fancy dinner?
85. Would you rather have a dog that barks the tune of your favorite song or a cat that meows in perfect Morse code insults?
86. Would you rather have a permanent squeaky wheel following you or a permanent smell of freshly baked bread that makes everyone hungry and cranky?
87. Would you rather have to answer 'present' every time your name is mentioned or say 'thank you, next' every time you finish eating?
88. Would you rather have hands that are always jazz-handing slightly or hips that involuntarily wiggle to any beat?
89. Would you rather have a beard you can never grow or hair you can never stop growing for one week a month?
90. Would you rather have a pet cloud that occasionally rains on your enemies or a pet breeze that flips everyone's hair dramatically?
91. Would you rather always be slightly too warm or always find your seat slightly too cold?
92. Would you rather have a sneeze that turns you invisible for one second or a laugh that makes you levitate two inches?
93. Would you rather have to wear a tuxedo to the beach or board shorts to a funeral?
94. Would you rather have a phone ringtone you can never change that's just your own voice yelling 'HELLO?' or a text tone that's a goat scream?
95. Would you rather have a personal theme song that plays whenever you enter a bathroom or an applause track that fires whenever you finish a snack?
96. Would you rather have to salute every mailbox or bow to every vending machine?
97. Would you rather have permanently damp handshake syndrome or a habit of laughing at exactly the wrong moment?
98. Would you rather your hair grow back overnight but rainbow-colored or your nails grow an inch every time you're stressed?
99. Would you rather have to say every number out loud when you count anything or spell every word you write in the air with your finger?
100. Would you rather have a nose whistle that only you can't hear or a knee click that plays a tiny drum roll?

101. Would you rather have a pet dragon the size of a hamster that sets your cereal on fire or a phoenix the size of a chicken that keeps molting glitter?
102. Would you rather have to wear roller skates all day at work or a full suit of medieval armor to the grocery store?
103. Would you rather have a sneeze that clears your entire browser history or a yawn that pauses every screen in the room?
104. Would you rather have to greet everyone with a chest bump or say goodbye with an interpretive dance?
105. Would you rather have a stomach that plays elevator music when you're hungry or a heartbeat you can hear that speeds up whenever you lie?
106. Would you rather have to wear a party hat to every serious meeting or blow a kazoo whenever someone says your name?
107. Would you rather have shoelaces that untie themselves whenever you're being serious or a zipper that hums a little tune when you use it?
108. Would you rather have a haircut that always looks great in mirrors but terrible in photos or the reverse?
109. Would you rather have a car that plays a laugh track whenever you make a mistake or a house that dims the lights whenever you say something dramatic?
110. Would you rather have to wear mismatched shoes forever or a slightly-too-small hat forever?
111. Would you rather have a sneeze that flips the nearest light switch or a cough that ejects a single piece of toast?
112. Would you rather have a pet flamingo that stands guard in your doorway or a pet ostrich that follows you to work?
113. Would you rather have to talk like a sports commentator during every meal or a nature documentary narrator during every walk?
114. Would you rather have hands that smell faintly of bacon or hair that smells faintly of fresh coffee?
115. Would you rather always have a crumb on your face you can't feel or a sticker on your back you can't reach?
116. Would you rather be able to summon a single balloon at will or a single confetti cannon once a day?
117. Would you rather have a doorbell that plays your baby photos as a slideshow or a phone that shows your search history to whoever calls you?
118. Would you rather have to hum the theme to a game show whenever you make a decision or gasp dramatically whenever you open a fridge?
119. Would you rather have a mustache that curls when you're lying or a nose that twitches when you smell a bargain?
120. Would you rather always sit slightly crooked in every chair or always have one pant leg riding up?
121. Would you rather have a pet worm with a top hat and a monocle or a beetle that carries a tiny briefcase to work with you?
122. Would you rather have a sneeze that toggles airplane mode on every phone nearby or a laugh that briefly mutes the TV?
123. Would you rather have to wear a cone of shame like a dog whenever you tell a bad joke or a party hat whenever you cry?
124. Would you rather have a stomach that gurgles a little tune or a jaw that clicks in rhythm when you chew?

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Want the background rather than another list? Read the extreme Would You Rather guide (how to write dilemmas that actually split a room, and where the line sits) and the party games night checklist (a running order that keeps a whole evening from stalling).

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